


Hurts, But I Know How To Hide It

by Dracomalfoyy



Series: 23 Ways To Say I Love You [8]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aha, Apart from Steve, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, bucky and clint is a secret thing, but everyone knows, but i did it, i need to stop rambling, sorry - Freeform, this really snowballed, thor is offworld because i want him to be, wit less time than i thought i had aswell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22788340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracomalfoyy/pseuds/Dracomalfoyy
Summary: Prompt 8 - things you said when you were crying(all prompts stolen from eversncenewyork on tumblr)Title from 'My Strange Addiction' by Billie Eilish
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Series: 23 Ways To Say I Love You [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1453279
Comments: 1
Kudos: 61





	Hurts, But I Know How To Hide It

In hindsight, they should have known it would happen. Natasha had given the whole team the lowdown on Clint's insanely huge guilt complex, and his tendency to blame himself for everything that ever went wrong. He was to be forced to medical after every fight because he wouldn't go himself, even if he had a life-threatening injury, thanks to his shitty childhood. Natasha hadn't filled them in on his childhood. Clint's past was his own, and it was up to him whether he wanted them to know. But still, she had warned them and they had listened. It just seemed in this instant, they forgot.

Natasha rarely got hurt, despite being one of the two unenhanced/protected by metal armour members of the team. When she went down early in the fight, they raced through with unexpected brutality because Natasha needed medical and that was always terrifying. In the end, it was only a concussion and a broken leg. However, it was still enough to shake every member of the team to their cores. Clint had gone ahead to the hospital with Natasha, while the rest of the team did clean up duty. 

By the time they'd gotten to the hospital, Natasha was fast asleep in her empty room. Steve took a seat in the vacant chair, slightly uneasy. Something was off. Maybe it was the sight of Natasha in a hospital bed? That must be it, he thought. Everyone else was there and fine. A job well done in Steve's eyes. He let himself slip into unconsciousness. 

It must have only been 10 minutes before he was startled awake. Natasha sat up in her bed, wielding a pillow and a look of pure fury. 

"дурачить! вырождаться!" Bucky looked down slowly, pulling his top lip into his mouth. He looked up at Steve, nodding slightly before bursting into laughter. Natasha whipped around lightning fast. "Я трахал всех твоих мам!" Bucky's mouth dropped open in shock. 

"What'd she say, Buck?" Steve asked, wide-eyed. Bucky shook his head, refusing to translate. 

"You're all assholes! That's what she said Steve! If you're so desperate to know you should learn Russian!" Natasha was seething. Steve still had no idea what was going on but he knew that he'd fucked up big time. 

Tony rushed back into the room, phone in hand. "He isn't in here anywhere. There is an alarming trail of blood that cuts off at a storage cupboard so I'm guessing he's patched himself up and ran." He looked up, noting that Steve was now awake. Tony reached for Natasha's pillow, only stopped by Bruce pulling him back. 

"Clint is gone, Cap." Bruce explained quietly. 

It took them 29 hours to track him down. Natasha refused to speak in English for the entire time, mumbling what Steve was sure were Russian swear words. This was confirmed by Bucky's muffled laughter. 

Steve pulled up at the apartment block, taking a moment to scan it over. Apparently Hawkeye had a place in Bed-Stuy. Apparently, Bucky already knew this and had been here before as he didn't even try to use the broken elevator. He took the stairs two at a time, stopping outside a door that he somehow had a key for. The apartment was completely not what Steve expected from Hawkeye. He was competent, professional, smart, organised. The apartment was one pizza box away from being a registered dump. Bucky strolled through the strewn about clothing and dog toys, making his way up the metal stairs. Steve followed behind slowly, trying to piece things together in his head. Surely not? Bucky and... Clint?

"Stevie!" Steve jogged up the stairs, finding Bucky leaning over a very sick Hawkeye. He lay face down on the bed, still in his gear from the fight. Bucky had unzipped his vest, revealing a badly patched stab wound. The bandage was soaked through with blood. 

"I'm pretty sure that it's infected. He's warm and I can't wake him up." Steve nodded, picking up his sick teammate. They made their way back to the car, Bucky sitting in the back with Clint while Steve battled New York traffic. As soon as they got to the tower, Bucky was gone with Clint in his arms. 

Steve sat in the car for a minute, trying to digest what had happened in the last two days. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the tapping of a crutch on the car window. He got out, joining Natasha on the bonnet of the car. 

"I told you he blames himself for everything. It's hard-wired into him. I've tried time and time again, but it's impossible to convince him that he doesn't need to carry the weight of the world. It's been worse since Loki but I just can't get through to him." Steve nodded, fiddling with his car keys.

"Just when I thought I was gonna lose him for good, he met Bucky. He started getting better. He stopped running away as much. I didn't even know he still had his place in Bed-Stuy. I think yesterday shook him a bit." 

"I didn't even know he had a place in Bed-Stuy. I didn't know he even spoke to Buck. I didn't notice he was gone yesterday. None of us knew where he was. He could have died in Bed-Stuy on his own, hurting. I'm supposed to prevent these things from happening Nat." Natasha elbowed him softly. 

"You sound exactly like him. He's not the only one who needs to stop blaming himself, Steve. Bucky knew where he was the whole time. The asshole told him that he was fine and that Kate was with him looking after him." Natasha elegantly slid from the bonnet of the car, despite the heavy cast on her leg. She motioned for him to follow her upstairs, to the medbay where Clint was.

Steve poked his head around the corner, relieved to find Clint conscious. Bucky lay squashed against him in the small bed, fast asleep. Clint tilted his head slightly, inviting Steve in. He sat next to the bed, psyching himself up for the huge speech he'd prepared on the way. He never got to start it though, disrupted by quiet sniffles from the man next to him. 

"I'm sorry Steve. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. Buck said everyone was worried which is stupid cause Tasha got hurt worse and that was my fault too so I guess-"

"Clint!" 

The archer stopped, turning his tear-filled eyes to Steve. Steve took a deep breath.

"You don't have anything to apologise for Clint. There's a lot of things I should have done but I didn't. I haven't exactly been the most approachable recently. Just, please don't put yourself in danger again." Clint nodded, wiping his hand over his face. 

"Besides," Steve added, "if you're stuck with him now, he ain't gonna let that stuff slide. Real mother hen. Take it from someone who experienced it." 

"Shut up asshole," Bucky mumbled, his face pressed into Clint's shoulder. "Leave my boyfriend alone."

**Author's Note:**

> Bully me on tumblr —> clintbartonsbitch


End file.
